Hi, I'm Susanna
Let me tell you about how it al began
I wish I could tell you it started when my hair started falling out.
It did not.
However, it is the point where the worst thing started.
(So far, mind you, though please let this be the worst).
January 2018 I was incredibly sick.
Classic flu like symptoms. But none like I ever had before.
I oscillated between the couch and the bed.
I could not do much else for a week.
Recovery took me about two more weeks.
Way too short, but heck my new job started.
My old one had crashed and burned just a few weeks before
and it was as if my body had saved all the illness
for when I finally had some rest, or well… afforded myself rest.
So I started a new job, and decided I was not sick anymore.
Ending me affording myself the much needed rest.
My body, however, decided differently…
Nothing to worry about…
For about 5 months I would brush my hair and so much more than ever before was in my brush.
It was weird, but I thought nothing of it. I mean, I was young, healthy and female, one’s such hair does not fall out.
Right?
Wrong.
My mom pointed out to me that there was so much hair on my sweater. But, even as wise a mom as she is, she also did not expect hair to actually fall in bald spots.
It took me till July before I realized something was definitely off. My scalp was itchy like never before. But when I scratched the backside of my scalp, it felt, bald.
Bald?!
I asked my friend to look at it.
Nah, nothing to worry about.
I asked an ex to look at it.
Nah, nothing to worry about.
Worried as I was still, I went to the wisest woman I knew.
My mom.
She took a look at it and told me to march my hiney straight to the doctor’s office. Pronto!
The doc told me not to worry and just to wait.
No diagnosis, no treatment.
Wait.
I went nuts.
After two weeks I went there again, exclaiming:
“but what in the heck am I waiting for?! To go bald?!”.
I think the only reason she sent me to the dermatologists
was because it was easier than calling the non-existent security.
The dermatologist gave me a diagnosis, but no explanation, information or even as much as a treatment.
She handed me a piece of paper, with on it the diagnosis and four websites to check…
Alopecia Areata.
The doctors do not want you to go to Dr. Google, but seriously, what was I to do?
She gave me nothing more to go on.
I researched everything I could find on alopecia areata.
I kept on working though.
I kept the stress going.
Over time I managed to collect a long list of problems.
Depressions, anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, seborrheic eczema, knee issues, very nasty acne,
and of course the alopecia areata.
But most important of all:
I was so damn tired…
I was so incredibly tired.
After a long search
I found a functional doctor, which is a regular medical general practioner that has also studied for functional medicine.
As explained by The institute for functional medicine:
“The functional medicine model is an individualized, patient-centered, science-based approach that empowers patients and practitioners to work together to address the underlying causes of disease and promote optimal wellness. It requires a detailed understanding of each patient’s genetic, biochemical, and lifestyle factors and leverages that data to direct personalized treatment plans that lead to improved patient outcomes.”
My functional doctor also specialized in B12 deficiency, and I found that I had to add another disease to my long list: a B12 deficiency.
With the right treatment, I am making a huge leap in healing. However, healing my B12 deficiency alone will not suffice…
Over time I realized that underneath it all what culminated it all was stress and trauma.
Not just stress as we all thought of as stress.
But also the stress caused by our food, by the chemicals in our day to day life, by our fast-paced crazyness,
by us being less and less in sync with our needs and body.
Connecting all this I read more and more books, I searched for more and more research.
I found out it was all connected.
I was a system.
And the system was out of balance, out of whack.
Treating it, would have to consider the whole system.
Exactly what modern medicine and even alternative medicine, did not do.
This sprouted for me the need to do research,
and to share it with the world
My search took me to my own physical illnesses, the B12 deficiency.
It took me to mental health via coaches, therapists, different treatment plans,
but also meditation and lifestyle changes.
The lifestyle changes seemed so little, yet affected so much.
Better sleep, better and nutritious food, more exercise, and fun.
Fun in the form of dancing salsa, of taking pictures of birds on my hikes through nature.
But also love.
Love for my partner, for my parents and my brother, for my friends, and ultimately, love for myself.
Trust.
Patience.
Positivity.
And always onwards.
I changed parts of the whole, and healed parts of the whole.
Until as a whole, I became better.
Welcome to my search for what is wrong with me as a whole, as a system.
Resume
Currently I am studying to be a psychologist. Additionally, I assist and learn from spiritual psychologist Susan Dechering of Liefdeswijs. She guides me into therapeutical interventions and methods. I have assisted in online group-therapy for a less stressful life and getting ready for love. I have interned for her since march 2021 and work for her since April 2022.
I have had an extensive coaching trajectory with Michel La Pierre from Transform24 to find my authentic self and re-learn to listen to my gut and my own needs.
And I spent years reading every paper and book there is on trauma, stress, attachment theory, emotional and narcissistic abuse, mental health and the results of psychological distress and stress on the body.
My hero is Dr. Gabor Maté.
Education
Master Medical Psychology
Tilburg University
A 2-year intensive programme to not only learn diagnostics and therapeutical skills every psychologist needs, but also the most common diseases (coronary artery diseases, diabetes, cancer and lung diseases), how they develop, how to treat them and what psychological needs there are for patients. We also learn how mental distress is a risk factor for developing those diseases.
PhD in psychometrics
Utrecht University
A 4-year phd traject on estimating the number of usual residents in the Netherlands. I dived into a mathematical model that is used to estimate animal populations and applied it on human populations.
Research Master Psychology
University of Amsterdam
Majoring in psychometrics and minor in clinical Psychology.
Bachelor Clinical Psychology
Utrecht of Amsterdam
Master Medical Psychology
Tilburg University
A 2-year intensive programme to not only learn diagnostics and therapeutical skills every psychologist needs, but also the most common diseases (coronary artery diseases, diabetes, cancer and lung diseases), how they develop, how to treat them and what psychological needs there are for patients. We also learn how mental distress is a risk factor for developing those diseases.
PhD in psychometrics
Utrecht University
A 4-year phd traject on estimating the number of usual residents in the Netherlands. I dived into a mathematical model that is used to estimate animal populations and applied it on human populations.
Research Master Psychology
University of Amsterdam
Majoring in psychometrics and minor in clinical Psychology.